Damn Brisket

Posted on January 4, 2009 by attraversiamodarmaz

okay – Mr.Z saw the blog and didn’t particularly love reading my perspective without his sayso in there…

I happened to slow cook a brisket yesterday for like 5 hours so it would just fall apart…AND…it.didn’t.  Mr.Z. politely declined sandwiches for lunch and then said, “oh great!  Now on your blog you’re going to talk about how I insulted your cooking!”.  So here I am, moving beyond his polite no thank you and getting to the important part of this here whole situation (ya hear that Mr.Z ??):  I HAVE A BIG ASS BONE TO PICK WITH BRISKET THAT STARTED 14 YEARS AGO!

After I graduated from college, I started working in the big bad city of Houston, Texas…home of big trucks, cowboy hats, stolen big trucks, big everything really, and BARBEQUE ( down South I understand that barbeque refers to grilling or smokin but not really saucy).  They would marinate these briskets and wrap em up and grill them nice and slow…now I tried to do this deal time and time again and burned every damn one!!  Charcoal briquette style!  Ooooooheee it pissed me off and I’m a gentle soul…sometimes I guess.  So I kind of gave up…then a few years later I move to KC…home of I suppose fountains, controversial school districts, jazz, and yet again…barbeque (only this time it IS all about the sauce).  I have another opportunity to get the brisket thing right.  I think I have come close a time or two, but I just don’t have this sure fire process and I’ll be darned if I’m going to waste too many more hunks of cow!  I will not allow myself to go online at this point to start pouring over recipes to read and deduce just where I went wrong. 

People, I need one of you to be the King/Queen of brisket awesomeness and do share your secrets….PLEASE!

AND, if you’re one of those people who has an amazing kitchen trick but won’t tell anyone what it is….well…there’s a place for people like that, that’s all I’ll say about it

pissed out

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Separate but equal?? No, no, no Mr.Z…

Posted on January 3, 2009 by attraversiamodarmaz

So here’s an awesome benefit…Mr. Z. hasn’t seen my blog yet!  he he!  I will let him see it, but I wanted to get rollin’ first because in his mind if you are doing something on the internet, you should be earning money!  What???  Whateva…so he and I will chat again about this one later in addition to our regular go rounds on topics we view differently – he does love a good debate!

I’ve noticed a trend when it comes to our kids…there are comments for our sons that are not shared for our daughter…I was reminded again lately when my sweet CNN was burping on command for her brothers and they all thought it was the greatest thing since Sponge Bob!  Here’s how the conversation went down:

Mr. Z : “Did you hear that?”

Me:”yep”

Mr.Z:”Well, are you going to say anything??”

Me:”You just did.”

Mr.Z: “Do you really want your daughter acting that way?”

Me:”Well, not in public…”

Mr.Z:”Well if you let her practice here, she’ll just do it everywhere!”

Me:”hmmm – nope”

Mr.Z:”seriously, go talk to her”

Me:”okay…CNN, I know you’re having a lot of fun…and it’s pretty cool that you can do that on command, but your dad thinks it’s gross, so don’t do it in public or in front of your dad.”

CNN:”okay.”

Mr.Z: “That is NOT what I meant – not at all ladylike” ZING – direct hit – I do believe ITS ON ladies and gentlemen!

Me:”So, you and the boys can be as nasty as you wanna be, but not the ladies?”

Mr.Z: “We don’t do it on purpose!”

Me: rolling on the floor laughing

Mr.Z.:”we don’t” (weakly)

Me: recovered “yeah, yeah ya do…and when the boys do some bodily function unless it is in your face, you laugh!”

Mr.Z: “no, no I wouldn’t do that”

And so it goes…I won’t bore you further because the man does not back down – no admitting to his yucky double standard.  What to do with this?  Sometimes amid the banter he will start to smile to himself because he just has to know how off he is…seriously!!!  it is just really interesting to me how often still there are these double standards assumed…

When we had our deck redone, I picked up some supplies at Lowes and then unloaded them just as Sergio was pulling in the drive and he was all “I said I could come help you pick the stuff up…I insisted that it was no big deal and then he went on to tell me it was unnatural…UNNATURAL for women to do this …did my deck guy really just stand in my driveway and tell me I was a freak of nature???  I know he meant well and was trying to be nice, but man! 

Another time when I had a flat on the Rover beast from hell I told Mr.Z to go on to work, that I could fill it with the compressor Dad got me and get to the tire place…well he did go on because he knows I enjoy these kind of challenges…but he caught all kinds of hell for it at work…the women there just couldn’t believe he didn’t insist on taking care of it…he tried to tell them, you don’t know my wife! 

Don’t get me wrong, I love a gentleman…but I love a gentlewoman as well…I hold the door as I exit or enter for whomever is behind me…

I know my daddy just adored me and that is why he wouldn’t let me shovel the snow but made my brother do it (I got sick all the time) and no matter how I begged to mow the lawn with the self propelled lawn mower, Dad said no (he was sure I would cut my toes off) to me but my brother got to do it…good news is my baby brother is so awesome he didn’t really hold a grudge about it.  I also know that now my daddy still adores me which is why he brought me an air compressor, a nail gun(my wrists are pretty weak for a lot of hammering – truly so annoying), and a circular saw for any little project I might like to get into.  He learned and grew right along with me…love him love him love him

Let’s all say a few hail mary’s for Mr.Z.  before CNN and I have to take him out back…

 

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It’s okay to say penis, but enough already…

Posted on January 2, 2009 by attraversiamodarmaz

So, I understand that boys love  their penis.

Fascinating and all that…I try to be a supportive mom…no yelling that they will go to hell…or that’s wrong or bad or anything…I just say(about a zillion times a day) HELLO room full of people here…go wash your hands please preferably before you pat my cheeks in that sweet way you do, kay?  we’ve gone through all sorts of phases.  When MC was in preschool, there was a short period of time where I bought him overalls for every day of the week so the teacher could get to him before he could show his friends “what he has”.  I’m happy to share that the overalls did the trick and we were on to running with scissors or something else.  The love did not fade.  At home at about 4, he was jumping on his bed and yelled, “I LOVE MY PENIS!!!” with such passion.  This was a great moment in his life, I could tell.  I just told him that was wonderful now please put your jammies on.  Then there’s the jump up and down dance right out of the tub with the little song that goes, “ga ding ding ding ding” over and over.and.over.  Somewhere in the middle of all of this my daughter, who is the oldest, told me that her brothers hit her in her penis or something like this…time.to.talk.  Now that that was all cleared up we have an occasional shaking of the tighty whiteys shouting about the penis dance, but other than that we are clipping along pretty well.  Oh, BB did tell me once he was only fixing a problem because his penis was pointing the  wrong way…I couldn’t resist; curiousity did get the best of me, “which way is the right way?” he pointed a finger in the opposite direction I assume and said, “this way.” hmm…okay.  How do they know this?  Is it like how you fold your hands or cross your legs or ankles?  Is it connected to right handed or left handed?  Does it have something to do with how I fastened their diapers?  Just wondering…

Yesterday I was brushing the dogs and I noticed a little bump on the side of my pug, kind of like a scar…Mr. Z was looking at it and to assure me that it was nothing, he got his lab to show me that he has these “old man tags” all the time…so the kids are gathering because they want to see and Mr. Z. shows me this gross thing on his dog’s hindquarter and CNN shouts, “look guys, he has another penis”…I just start laughing and Mr.Z is getting all indignant because his dog’s feelings are going to get hurt (what??)…because I am laughing my daughter keeps repeating this which is irritating Mr. Z…finally I stop laughing and I ask CNN how she can even see the dog’s penis( NOTE: THIS WAS A MISTAKE)…she then proceeds to tell me how sometimes he jumps up and a little red thing goes in and out or something like that which throws me into another fit of laughter (crying side aching laughter) and Mr.Z is sputtering that we shouldn’t be laughing about dog anatomy and did I want to talk to her or should he all serious like which only made me laugh harder and CNN now wants to know what is anatomy anyway???  Is it wrong to tell my daughter that if you touch a penis and it isn’t yours you’ll get those things the dog has on your face???

Man!

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Resolution for a thoughtful Revolution

Posted on January 1, 2009 by attraversiamodarmaz

My body is a protective capsule for my amazing spirit.
“Wake me when there’s been a revolution in your heart.”
I have a t shirt with that lovely phrase and I just adore it. What I was reminded of at the birthday dinner was how in need I am of the revolution so I can properly support and nourish myself and all the women in my life. Men are not excluded, I just don’t see as many self harming habits.
At dinner my niece was sitting across from me. I believe she just turned 15. She was not excited about ordering dinner and her mom encouraged some vegetables as moms often do. Her dad asked that they not have that battle at the birthday dinner and the short, quiet conversation was over.  A bit later her mom (who is a slim, healthy, attractive, and stylish woman) asked me to please convince her daughter that she IS NOT fat!  I knew that the words would mean little or nothing so I tried a different route.  I just talked about looking over my high school photo when I was last home.  I compared the photo to the one next to it where I was in my first or second year of college.  The weight was about the same, but my face was much more angular (read THIN).  My bones and structure were not done growing and changing.  My niece is beautiful and perfect.  She’s considering being a vegan.  She’s all about animal rights and antsy for a cause, which I think is wonderful.  Great direction to pour energy as opposed to obsessing about a body in a mirror or looking at airbrushed images and figuring out how to get there.  Or looking at others in the hallway or out and about with different genes and wondering why you’re not built like that…what???  How could you be built like that with differing genes all together???

When I worked the door at wrestling meets (meets?matches?? whatever) at the middle school I worked at I was really enlightened.  It was such a perfect example of child development physically demonstrated.  Here were a whole slew of seventh and eighth graders all within a year or so of one another and the physical size and muscle development was all over the place.  How awful that we’re given this idea that we should long for what we see when what we have been given is exactly what we need. 

My own daughter is beautiful and perfect and already she is talking about fat thighs!!!  I tell you she doesn’t hear that at home from her mama!  I may think it when I look in the mirror, but I am really concerned about projecting or her absorbing, so I just try to be really positive.  It’s clearly not enough.  If I want her to feel beautiful, then I need to look at myself in the mirror and do the same.  Oh, if only we could fake it and do right by our babies…

Last year when she was in first grade she was getting ready for school and told me that she was wearing this shirt because so and so liked it and told her to wear it.  WHAT????  I might have freaked out a little bit about wearing whatever the hell you want or maybe letting so and so borrow it and wear it himself!  I’m glad so and so moved away and goes to a different school and my angel CNN now loves an adorable adoring friend who thinks my daughter is absolutely perfect in every way:)

Here’s a random thought loosely connected…a truth I just love that I found when it surfaced in my brain…I was talking with my friend I’ve known since kindergarten…don’t even remember what she was talking about, but she smiled and I noticed the crinkles at the corner of her eyes and thought, “well jeesh – she’s always been pretty, but her crinkles make her even prettier!”.  TRUE STORY.  Then when I went home I noticed my own crinkles and you know what?  I thought I looked a bit prettier too!  I LOVE EYE CRINKLES!

have a beautiful 2009 awake and present for every moment of bliss –

my mantra – my body is a protective capsule for my amazing spirit…

ciao belles

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The dawn of a new day friends

Posted on December 31, 2008 by attraversiamodarmaz

I feel BLISS…

Life is wonderful, glorious, AMAZING even!  I am the mother of BIG KIDS!  No more toddlerness to deal with on so many occasions!!!  In my head I was still thinking and responding like the kind of toddler mom I was, “let’s skip it if it’s not kid friendly,if they don’t have a cart, or if someone will need my attention for long at all”.  Mr. Z has a very different approach…it goes something like, “what the hell, lets give it a whirl and if it doesn’t work out so well, we can just have super Darma sweep in and fix it”.  Me no likey.

I do adore my crew; they are CNN,my beautiful 7 year old daughter, MC, my 5 year old stream of unconsciousness son, and BB, my 4 year old teddybear boy/ninja warrior.  We have MJ for about 24 hours on the weekends, our sassy about to be 2 foster baby who got to go home.

So anyway…

Last night we were supposed to go to Mr. Z’s mom’s birthday party at the assisted living community.  I had two sitters waiting in the wings.  As things often go, they both were occupied in the final hour(okay, that means I called Tuesday morning and needed them Tuesday night but you heard the version Mr. Z got:).  I told Mr.Z we could just tag team and each go for a bit while the other stays with the kids.  He thought they could probably handle it…so I felt like living dangerously and thought we could always just make a quick exit. 

The first miracle was that I found appropriate clothing for all three AND got them and myself dressed in 30 minutes in addition to printing out a picture we had taken that afternoon of the kids with their cousins and slapping it in a frame for Grandma!  The stars were aligned is all I can say.  They each had a backpack with one something to play with(I said one toy so they bring their backpacks and stuff it to the gills as if I don’t know – boy they got me!??)

We did have a little snag upon entering the private dining room.  The kids have a thing about making an entrance.  The doorway becomes a magnetic field from which they are repelled.  Mr. Z and I become hockey players trying to slide them on into the goal. This is cute for about two seconds but them it becomes tiresome while the family begins their hellos. 

After the door game was over, Heath the awesome waiter brought in a card table for the kids (not enough room at the dinner table) and all was well.  They did so well!   Mr.Z was sitting at the kids table with them, leaving an open chair at the big table, but I think he liked it that way!(long story).

We had such a great time and Grandma had a great dinner party!  Not once did she get mad at MC and call him an ass(she has) and in turn he did not tell her that she was an ass too(he has).  I had a nice glass of wine with dinner and came home just amazed with this new place we’ve arrived at…

I’m not a dreamer…I do realize that we could still go in Target (which is more quiet than a library if you haven’t noticed) and MC just might yell out, “Goddammit”, with a smile just to make people look….and then the boys will still likely point and laugh and say “boobs boobs” as we stroll past the section of bras.   I’ll be content with our new success, handle the rest…and soak up this short window of time where mom is a rock star and their favorite person to be with that ends way too soon:)

As MJ babydoll says, “peace out!”

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Ramblings from a scattered yet centered soul…

Posted on December 30, 2008 by attraversiamodarmaz

So who knew it would be so hard to begin???

Type.  Delete.  Type.  Delete.  Type Type Type Type…awesome!  let’s preview!!  What???Where did it go??? shit shit shit!

Blank screen.  Type.

I’m already over the first amazing post that was lost somewhere and certain this will be even more in touch with my true intentions or some such nonsense…lots of dot dot dots, I’ll warn you- dash every once in awhile.  My thoughts don’t end, they just link casually to the next with a really relaxed organization…yeah.

Most things strike me in story format.  It’s kind of annoying and difficult to speak concisely when your brain works this way.  Linear, left brain thinkers try to finish sentences for you(me).  I drive my sister-in-law(lawyer) crazy!  I finally told her straight out it was not possible for me to tell her what happened IN the room until I told her ABOUT the room…setting, ya know???  Sometimes one story leads to another with a weak link and I lose people.  I know there is awesome synchronicity between myself and another when they are able to stay with me through the journey of a conversation…my friend from Htown was awesome at this…her eyes would light up, “got it – I’m with you!”.  She’s a math teacher, athletic trainer, and generally lived her live like a Mountain Dew commercial.  Our brains were quite complimentary!  I miss her!  I found her and others on Facebook! 

Do you do this???  Have you done it for years?  It’s wonderful!  It’s like a  first search on the internet with all the vast possibilities or that first AOL chat!  I am quite delayed in the technology world…a lack of focus I think…my beautiful children (I’m not biased – they’re adopted and I hate nothing to do with it), tinkering in the house, tinkering with the garden, getting lost in a creative something, books books books, you get the idea.  I’m quite a youngster to all of the features of FB though.  I will post what’s going on, send messages, and that’s really about it.  I have about 30 requests for different things that I just ignore because I don’t know what to do with them…I tried a quiz or planting a tree and it kept asking me to send it to someone else…what??  is that like forwarding junk mail or something???  can’t I just participate without sharing???  so I ignore it.  Some people who are my “friends” I have never exchanged words with in FB.  I do like seeing what they’re up to though…kind of like being able to keep in touch without picking up the phone or actually having the conversation.  Texting is like this – a bit…do you do this???  texting???  I love it!  just started not long ago with my sitter!  It’s great!  like notes in school!  only not!  I told you I was behind…

It’s not that I don’t have the equipment or know of it…pioneer XM portable radio with a few songs loaded in…I forget to listen to XM and always mean to go to itunes and get that new list of ever growing songs I am now fond of (confession – I do like the song Lovebug by *gasp* the Jonas Brothers).  I have a dash that I answer and text and take three years to put an appointment in, but I think it can probably make me breakfast if I program it – no time to read the book…I have a bluetooth that goes with it and I did use it a time or two but now I forget how to link them up and before I couldn’t unlink them so I’d answer my phone but couldn’t hear because the damn little ear piece was in my purse SOMEWHERE…ahhhhhh…I type away on my little laptop that could(a few years ago) while down at my desk is my new HP Touchscreen that I haven’t quite figured out yet…it’s endless

All this and it makes perfect sense to me why it is so damn hard to find matching pairs of socks and seasonally appropriate clothing for my darlings when I really just want to enjoy my hot coffee in peace!!(I’m forever finding a cold cup of coffee waiting for me when I open my fancy microwave/convection oven that I finally did use as an oven over the holidays!)

I have no idea why my husband is frustrated and keeps trying to talk to me about a budget!  I DO use the vita mix…

I hear the end calling.

U

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