It’s okay to say penis, but enough already…

So, I understand that boys love  their penis.

Fascinating and all that…I try to be a supportive mom…no yelling that they will go to hell…or that’s wrong or bad or anything…I just say(about a zillion times a day) HELLO room full of people here…go wash your hands please preferably before you pat my cheeks in that sweet way you do, kay?  we’ve gone through all sorts of phases.  When MC was in preschool, there was a short period of time where I bought him overalls for every day of the week so the teacher could get to him before he could show his friends “what he has”.  I’m happy to share that the overalls did the trick and we were on to running with scissors or something else.  The love did not fade.  At home at about 4, he was jumping on his bed and yelled, “I LOVE MY PENIS!!!” with such passion.  This was a great moment in his life, I could tell.  I just told him that was wonderful now please put your jammies on.  Then there’s the jump up and down dance right out of the tub with the little song that goes, “ga ding ding ding ding” over and over.and.over.  Somewhere in the middle of all of this my daughter, who is the oldest, told me that her brothers hit her in her penis or something like this…time.to.talk.  Now that that was all cleared up we have an occasional shaking of the tighty whiteys shouting about the penis dance, but other than that we are clipping along pretty well.  Oh, BB did tell me once he was only fixing a problem because his penis was pointing the  wrong way…I couldn’t resist; curiousity did get the best of me, “which way is the right way?” he pointed a finger in the opposite direction I assume and said, “this way.” hmm…okay.  How do they know this?  Is it like how you fold your hands or cross your legs or ankles?  Is it connected to right handed or left handed?  Does it have something to do with how I fastened their diapers?  Just wondering…

Yesterday I was brushing the dogs and I noticed a little bump on the side of my pug, kind of like a scar…Mr. Z was looking at it and to assure me that it was nothing, he got his lab to show me that he has these “old man tags” all the time…so the kids are gathering because they want to see and Mr. Z. shows me this gross thing on his dog’s hindquarter and CNN shouts, “look guys, he has another penis”…I just start laughing and Mr.Z is getting all indignant because his dog’s feelings are going to get hurt (what??)…because I am laughing my daughter keeps repeating this which is irritating Mr. Z…finally I stop laughing and I ask CNN how she can even see the dog’s penis( NOTE: THIS WAS A MISTAKE)…she then proceeds to tell me how sometimes he jumps up and a little red thing goes in and out or something like that which throws me into another fit of laughter (crying side aching laughter) and Mr.Z is sputtering that we shouldn’t be laughing about dog anatomy and did I want to talk to her or should he all serious like which only made me laugh harder and CNN now wants to know what is anatomy anyway???  Is it wrong to tell my daughter that if you touch a penis and it isn’t yours you’ll get those things the dog has on your face???

Man!

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About attraversiamodarmaz

Midwestern girl who loves big city shopping (note - do not love high heels of any kind) * hate to say that first because I fancy myself a yoga chic too who is into feng shui and a minimalist life but it's just not all true!* I do forget to recycle* LOVE reading and music and most things crafty (the idea of them - very fickle and creative urges come and go faster than light or sound)* Grand chef and baker in my own mind and kitchen - love to mix and match recipes for a glorious new concoction* Gardening would be very successful - I have a flair but short attention span can cause casualties* True bliss is my home filled with three beautiful children (four on the weekends - an amazing Goddaughter)* did forget to feed the beautiful children lunch once when they were too small to remind me* can't find socks for all on some crazy mornings* I'm a learner who just can't help it...a writer in my head, and a college instructor for a half dozen classes a year* can't help my right brain optimism* been a foster mom* am a very grateful mom of adopted children* worst life moment: leaving the E.R. with an empty baby carrier* this is me...pretty much
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