So, I understand that boys love their penis.
Fascinating and all that…I try to be a supportive mom…no yelling that they will go to hell…or that’s wrong or bad or anything…I just say(about a zillion times a day) HELLO room full of people here…go wash your hands please preferably before you pat my cheeks in that sweet way you do, kay? we’ve gone through all sorts of phases. When MC was in preschool, there was a short period of time where I bought him overalls for every day of the week so the teacher could get to him before he could show his friends “what he has”. I’m happy to share that the overalls did the trick and we were on to running with scissors or something else. The love did not fade. At home at about 4, he was jumping on his bed and yelled, “I LOVE MY PENIS!!!” with such passion. This was a great moment in his life, I could tell. I just told him that was wonderful now please put your jammies on. Then there’s the jump up and down dance right out of the tub with the little song that goes, “ga ding ding ding ding” over and over.and.over. Somewhere in the middle of all of this my daughter, who is the oldest, told me that her brothers hit her in her penis or something like this…time.to.talk. Now that that was all cleared up we have an occasional shaking of the tighty whiteys shouting about the penis dance, but other than that we are clipping along pretty well. Oh, BB did tell me once he was only fixing a problem because his penis was pointing the wrong way…I couldn’t resist; curiousity did get the best of me, “which way is the right way?” he pointed a finger in the opposite direction I assume and said, “this way.” hmm…okay. How do they know this? Is it like how you fold your hands or cross your legs or ankles? Is it connected to right handed or left handed? Does it have something to do with how I fastened their diapers? Just wondering…
Yesterday I was brushing the dogs and I noticed a little bump on the side of my pug, kind of like a scar…Mr. Z was looking at it and to assure me that it was nothing, he got his lab to show me that he has these “old man tags” all the time…so the kids are gathering because they want to see and Mr. Z. shows me this gross thing on his dog’s hindquarter and CNN shouts, “look guys, he has another penis”…I just start laughing and Mr.Z is getting all indignant because his dog’s feelings are going to get hurt (what??)…because I am laughing my daughter keeps repeating this which is irritating Mr. Z…finally I stop laughing and I ask CNN how she can even see the dog’s penis( NOTE: THIS WAS A MISTAKE)…she then proceeds to tell me how sometimes he jumps up and a little red thing goes in and out or something like that which throws me into another fit of laughter (crying side aching laughter) and Mr.Z is sputtering that we shouldn’t be laughing about dog anatomy and did I want to talk to her or should he all serious like which only made me laugh harder and CNN now wants to know what is anatomy anyway??? Is it wrong to tell my daughter that if you touch a penis and it isn’t yours you’ll get those things the dog has on your face???