Separate but equal?? No, no, no Mr.Z…

So here’s an awesome benefit…Mr. Z. hasn’t seen my blog yet!  he he!  I will let him see it, but I wanted to get rollin’ first because in his mind if you are doing something on the internet, you should be earning money!  What???  Whateva…so he and I will chat again about this one later in addition to our regular go rounds on topics we view differently – he does love a good debate!

I’ve noticed a trend when it comes to our kids…there are comments for our sons that are not shared for our daughter…I was reminded again lately when my sweet CNN was burping on command for her brothers and they all thought it was the greatest thing since Sponge Bob!  Here’s how the conversation went down:

Mr. Z : “Did you hear that?”


Mr.Z:”Well, are you going to say anything??”

Me:”You just did.”

Mr.Z: “Do you really want your daughter acting that way?”

Me:”Well, not in public…”

Mr.Z:”Well if you let her practice here, she’ll just do it everywhere!”

Me:”hmmm – nope”

Mr.Z:”seriously, go talk to her”

Me:”okay…CNN, I know you’re having a lot of fun…and it’s pretty cool that you can do that on command, but your dad thinks it’s gross, so don’t do it in public or in front of your dad.”


Mr.Z: “That is NOT what I meant – not at all ladylike” ZING – direct hit – I do believe ITS ON ladies and gentlemen!

Me:”So, you and the boys can be as nasty as you wanna be, but not the ladies?”

Mr.Z: “We don’t do it on purpose!”

Me: rolling on the floor laughing

Mr.Z.:”we don’t” (weakly)

Me: recovered “yeah, yeah ya do…and when the boys do some bodily function unless it is in your face, you laugh!”

Mr.Z: “no, no I wouldn’t do that”

And so it goes…I won’t bore you further because the man does not back down – no admitting to his yucky double standard.  What to do with this?  Sometimes amid the banter he will start to smile to himself because he just has to know how off he is…seriously!!!  it is just really interesting to me how often still there are these double standards assumed

When we had our deck redone, I picked up some supplies at Lowes and then unloaded them just as Sergio was pulling in the drive and he was all “I said I could come help you pick the stuff up…I insisted that it was no big deal and then he went on to tell me it was unnatural…UNNATURAL for women to do this …did my deck guy really just stand in my driveway and tell me I was a freak of nature???  I know he meant well and was trying to be nice, but man! 

Another time when I had a flat on the Rover beast from hell I told Mr.Z to go on to work, that I could fill it with the compressor Dad got me and get to the tire place…well he did go on because he knows I enjoy these kind of challenges…but he caught all kinds of hell for it at work…the women there just couldn’t believe he didn’t insist on taking care of it…he tried to tell them, you don’t know my wife! 

Don’t get me wrong, I love a gentleman…but I love a gentlewoman as well…I hold the door as I exit or enter for whomever is behind me…

I know my daddy just adored me and that is why he wouldn’t let me shovel the snow but made my brother do it (I got sick all the time) and no matter how I begged to mow the lawn with the self propelled lawn mower, Dad said no (he was sure I would cut my toes off) to me but my brother got to do it…good news is my baby brother is so awesome he didn’t really hold a grudge about it.  I also know that now my daddy still adores me which is why he brought me an air compressor, a nail gun(my wrists are pretty weak for a lot of hammering – truly so annoying), and a circular saw for any little project I might like to get into.  He learned and grew right along with me…love him love him love him

Let’s all say a few hail mary’s for Mr.Z.  before CNN and I have to take him out back…


About attraversiamodarmaz

Midwestern girl who loves big city shopping (note - do not love high heels of any kind) * hate to say that first because I fancy myself a yoga chic too who is into feng shui and a minimalist life but it's just not all true!* I do forget to recycle* LOVE reading and music and most things crafty (the idea of them - very fickle and creative urges come and go faster than light or sound)* Grand chef and baker in my own mind and kitchen - love to mix and match recipes for a glorious new concoction* Gardening would be very successful - I have a flair but short attention span can cause casualties* True bliss is my home filled with three beautiful children (four on the weekends - an amazing Goddaughter)* did forget to feed the beautiful children lunch once when they were too small to remind me* can't find socks for all on some crazy mornings* I'm a learner who just can't help it...a writer in my head, and a college instructor for a half dozen classes a year* can't help my right brain optimism* been a foster mom* am a very grateful mom of adopted children* worst life moment: leaving the E.R. with an empty baby carrier* this is me...pretty much
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