Attraversiamo; Darma Z’s Blog

Many happy returns of the morning to you, blogosphere!
(if only I could return a bit of this morning!)
Darma Z here, checking in for my theraputic regurgitation of the morning activities so I can go on about my day a lighter and more carefree kind of girl:)
Why read on, you might ask? Well, as opposed to being dumped on…I think perhaps you will add to your barrel of morning chuckles at our expense and I’ll gladly foot the bill…mutually beneficial relationship, see?
I was up at 6:00 am with coffee in hand. I knew it was going to be a wonderful, fabulous, absolutely dreamalicious kind of day because I didn’t have to start by taking the puppy for a 20 minute fruitless session outside because he had thoughtfully did a pee pee and then some on the hallway floor:) Love to you my puggy friend – I hope I can get to you soon enough to rescue you the next time the boys are trying to feed you a locust. I am a little slow sometimes…
I DID NOT waste time on Facebook…I was merely checking in to make sure everyone was okay and I think if I had made lunches instead, MC’s hotdog might have been cold by lunch (never mind that he got a sandwich instead because I ran out of time).
I got CNN up with plenty of time to redo her hair…7 kinds of product, three types of combs, and a curler on the pig tails – no worries (ok, it took a little longer than we expected because she was a little gun shy about the curling iron – jeesh, you drop a hot curling iron ONE TIME and they never let it go!).
I even delivered clothes for BB and MC early as Mr. Z requested because this would make it easier for him to wake MC at the proper time. (please note that MC flew through the kitchen to swallow his sausages whole 10 minutes late).
BB was up and at em and dressing himself (but really this doesn’t matter because his preschool starts next week and seriously, if you are going to join us on the jaunt to school you need ALL your clothes and shoes too) and he didn’t like his shirt, so he needed to get another one which he did while I was STILL doing CNN’s hair as she happily chomped her sausages like a propper little princess.
Next thing I know the whirlwind known as MC flies through the kitchen with clothes but no socks and shoes about to descend on his sausages. Now I know a bit about this young man and he needs motivation, people! If those shoes are not on BEFORE he eats, it might not happen(last year we did have a time or two where he went into the van in his calvin Klein briefs with shoes, socks, clothes, jacket and backpack at his feet with a warning that it only takes two minutes to get to school and when the car pulls up I am opening the door). I guess he’s just not a morning person, or an afternoon person, or a bedtime person…maybe it’s just when I interfere in his schedule that things go astray!
Mr. Z comes lumbering into the kitchen about this time with MC’s shoes and socks muttering about the fact that HE didn’t get any breakfast(REALLY???). I might sound bitter, but the fact of the matter is, I know his leisurely morning schedule and he has time to make his own damn breakfast as I get the loves of my life out the ever lovin door:)
The muttering continues and I didn’t notice that MC had snarfed his sausage and raced out the front door with his little brother in tow. The pig tails are nearly done when Mr. Z decides this is the right time to ask me if I realize we might be late and couldn’t I do CNN’s hair the night before and blah and blah blah blah and REALLY??? Where are your social cuing systems man? Do you not feel the JAWS music in the background? I am so very glad I don’t have the burden of deadly lazers that shoot out of my eyeballs because I would be explaining myself to the local authorities and I think they just might understand! HA!
You might think the tale is done and we are on our way to school – you would be silly and wrong:)
Next lunches are thrown together and I can tell Mr. Z was about to comment about fruit or vegetables, but picked up on a prickling sense of danger on the hairs of his neck, so he stood by quietly. With lunches and backpacks in tow I march out the door only to discover MC and his brother running through the neighbor’s sprinkler! He is totally going to school in whatever condition he is in! I decide I don’t want to wrestle him into the van as that could take way too long and he might need to burn off a bit of his fire in the run to school. Off we go and BB has no shoes and I tell him to stay home with Dad but Dad helpfully says he will drive his shoes up to him along the walk. THANKS for that.
CNN’s backpack is too heavy because of a 5 lb binder she brought home to do one worksheet of homework…the boys are collecting locusts and sticks and I think this madness will NEVER end when I realize that MC didn’t get his allergy medicine (ragweed folks! cranky as a bear when his nose is all itchy) SO I will be racing home to race it back to school. About then Mr.Z pulls up with BB’s shoes and I decide to shove the kids in the car so they MIGHT not be SO late…well they are stumbling on one another and arguing and trash keeps falling out of Mr. Messy’s car and I keep throwing it back in(because as you know I am NOT a litterbug, even in a crisis) and FINALLY they are off to school and I am flip flopping at a breakneck pace to get meds so I don’t pull MC from class too far into the morning (he has really had a great year so far and I don’t want to mess it up!).
Here is the happily ever after…after muttering to myself aloud all the way home and racing up to school and pacing while I waited, he happily marched into the nurse’s office and took his medicine. I tied his shoes that were stuffed with wet muddy socks and fixed his collar and sent him off to class with a kiss and a hug and got a million dollar smile in return.
He is a tornado and he makes me insane and he is mine and I do love him so:)
Have a great day MC!