Seriously!

Posted on April 4, 2010 by attraversiamodarmaz

View Image

It seems I am not done with the polite/proper/crazy conversation!

It was race day.

I was in the midst of running 13.1 miles!

There is a break station about every two miles.

You stop in, grab a drink, drop it and run.

only…

drop it??

I KNOW that my time was several seconds longer because of the first station.

I had a sip, and then…the cup…stuck in my hand.

THROW IT ON THE GROUND???

LITTER ?????

OMG!!!

I never do this.

litter bug litter bug litter bug

give a hoot, don’t pollute and all that shit!

I did throw it down,

it was VERY hard though.

I’ll tell you the truth…

I didn’t get over it until the stop at the 8 mile mark…

There was a nice little surprise at the end…

The last break station,

had a trash can right there for me!!!

Posted in self talk | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Thanks, really.

Posted on April 4, 2010 by attraversiamodarmaz

Dear kind gentlemen,

It was ever so thoughtful of you…

This evening

As you cruised by

In the Target parking lot

to “holla” at this mama

pushing a cart of loot…with a hula hoop

balanced on top

I felt your love

really.

Shocked me a bit

which is why I flipped the hula hoop

on the ground, see.

I do love this t shirt…

the sparkles, as the sun set

must have been too much…

who can blame you for being overcome.

Because I am a nice girl, though…

I feel it only fair to mention

if you want to land yourself a lady

this is not a great strategy

best of luck to y’all…

Happy Easter too!

DarmaZ

Posted in Random | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Impossible

Posted on March 30, 2010 by attraversiamodarmaz

“This is impossible…only if you believe it is.”

“I have sometimes believed six impossible things all before breakfast.”

“This is good.”

Have you ever really pushed yourself…to see how far you can go?

I think I push myself a lot (and probably those around me as well)…

I suppose I fall down…I don’t seem to recall that part as much as I probably should.

I notice a lot of pushing lately….HARD.

It is as if I am daring myself to fall down…or to see exactly what it is that perpetuates a fall…

Nothing yet…surprisingly enough.

My friend and I ran a half marathon on Saturday morning.

the whole thing

in the rain

and hail

the whole thing!

for two hours and forty nine minutes

I didn’t know I could do this.

Now, my legs were pretty shaky, so I COULD have fallen down, but I didn’t.

So, I did it.

Now what?

Maybe

Running long and hard is the easy part…

I fear…

 sitting still,

 and quiet…

might be the hard part.

Perhaps that…

 is the real jabberwocky I must slay.

Posted in Random, self talk | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Tough

Posted on March 26, 2010 by attraversiamodarmaz

I was reminded again…that my threshhold for pain  is fairly high.

In these moments, do you throw your your hands up and celebrate this compliment?

Or perhaps bend over, hands propping your body up on your knees, and drop your head just weary from the journey…

Maybe neither…

Perhaps both?

I didn’t start out this way.

I was very soft and sensitive and protected…weak.

Little by little, one life experience at a time…this changed.

I think it was not a choice I was aware of making.

There is some quote about how it doesn’t matter how many times you fall down, because it is all about how many times you get back up…that’s about right.

Whether emotional or physical, through my opportunities for growth…I somehow figured out that when I dig in my heels and flex my shoulder muscles, there is really nothing that can knock me down.  

 This might be the coolest realization in the world.

Come on then…

It seems I’m ready.

Posted in Random, self talk | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Headstands

Posted on March 23, 2010 by attraversiamodarmaz

I love headstands!

I forgot about them!

A headstand for three minutes each and every day is most excellent in every way for a person and certainly reverses the aging process. 

It feels so great…very peaceful and stress relieving.

This is another one of my loving DarmaZ things I will add to my daily schedule…

this and maybe push ups…

hmmm.

Posted in Random | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Happy Feet!

Posted on March 21, 2010 by attraversiamodarmaz

I think there have been several times in my life where I have had designated “happy feet shoes”. 

Right now, these are the ones! 

The look on CNN’s face when she opened them, and put them on, and ran around???  Man!

The fact that I would wear the exact same shoes?

Oh!  Just a marvelous moment.

If I were a pair of shoes, these might be it on many days! 

I think, somewhere on the box, they explained that when you click your heels together in these babies, pixie dust flies!

Happy clickin baby girl!

Posted in Random | Tagged | Leave a comment

Oh Alice…

Posted on March 16, 2010 by attraversiamodarmaz

I am very taken with Alice in Wonderland.

I have more than one version of this movie..the newest I will certainly add to my collection.

I need to return to the book it seems.

Never before have I taken notes during a movie, or…rather, emailed myself quotes…words I knew I would need.

More to come for certain.

It seems I am also returning to my love of soundtracks…I used to gather them often.

Never thought I would post Avril…you know all about saying never though…

Posted in books, music, Random | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Get over yourself Z!

Posted on March 14, 2010 by attraversiamodarmaz

I need help.

Seriously!

My chronic polite problem I wrote about? 

 Well, it kind of flows over into proper too it seems…

Not exactly…I can totally tell someone to piss right off, and that is not proper.

I guess generally the whole do the right thing at the right time no matter who is watching.

Totally my mama and daddy’s fault.

This craziness.

So, I ran into the grocery store…

Just to pick up a few things…who needs a cart, right?

(never say that)

I get what I need, but my arms are really full.

The last thing I get, well, there was a little problem.

I knocked something off the shelf. 

It didn’t break or anything…

It just dropped to the floor. 

My hands were full.

I couldn’t pick it up.

I had to walk away.

I was totally talking to myself about walking away from something I dropped on the floor.

I almost stopped someone who worked in the store to tell them, and apologize.

REALLY?

What the hell is wrong with me???

THEN, I was hoping someone would call me so I could just confess.

Seriously!

I shit you not!

FFS!

Hell.

Now I can’t go there anymore.

Posted in Random, self talk | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

It’s Complicated.

Posted on March 13, 2010 by attraversiamodarmaz

This option…this choice I see on Facebook

It makes me smile…

You might be chasing.

You might be stringing along.

You might have to make an unpleasant choice.

You might have to realize a truth that hurts.

It might not be what you want it to be…

But really?

It is not complicated.

It’s pretty simple.

Posted in Random | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Kid.

Posted on March 12, 2010 by attraversiamodarmaz

New deal on day 70 of walking.

I ended up walking alone, well mostly alone.

I had my ears full of Kid Rock.

Loud felt right.

So loud as to eliminate thoughts loitering…not possible it seems.

He was good company though.

Decided to look up him again after the kids went to sleep.

Turns out there is a thing or two he says about a thing or two that aren’t loud at all…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XfKGI2o_VQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rg_dUc2uU48

Posted in music | Tagged , , | 2 Comments