I have been happily divorced for over three years. Three years ago, one of my adorable children (who shall remain nameless) told me ever so casually that if I dated someone they would kick them in the nuts. First I just stared. I wasn’t talking about dating. Why were they talking about dating? Then we talked about appropriate behavior. That conversation was met with a convincing stare. Some day I would have to choose someone really tall and have cat like reflexes to save their business and avoid mortification. I mean, you can’t be at a point where you introduce someone to your kids and ask them to wear a cup…can you?? Jeez.
My thoughts at that time went something like this: “This is me…offering it up. I didn’t choose well the first time. Please just send him to my door with a neon sign above his head and Jesus on one side and Buddha on the other, okay? Then I will know.” Of course, that won’t work now because I’ve gone and told you. In reality, there was so much required of me, I couldn’t see where anyone would fit anyway.
Time passed. We settled in. Things got better. I would have periodic offering it up conversations. “Why do you keep parading that fella in front of me? I don’t like his hair and he didn’t pick up after his dog. I can say no. No.”
More time passes. My daughter starts telling me when she thinks she sees someone checking me out. I tell her thanks and come on…I don’t give my number out in stores.
So eventually someone waves a neon flag at me and I get to realize I didn’t forget how all this goes and it is quite nice actually. I also realize I like face time…not screen communication. Good to know.
The kids, meanwhile, have told their dad I am engaged to Steve. They think this is wildly funny. Who is Steve I ask. They fall out with the hilarity of it all.
I am sort of opposed to strangers. Only one time I broke my only-Facebook-friends-if-I-know-you rule and that creeper was blocked in no time. Wow.
I am working on getting out and about to places that bring me joy. I’m not much of a museum girl, which is odd because I have been thinking about it a lot. So I got a membership (and a cool pin) and went. Here is what I figured out…I like to walk around and soak it up and listen to others, but not so much with the talking. Antisocial, huh? Maybe.
Some things haven’t changed. I’m shy. I saw two very handsome men when I went in to get my bangs trimmed. One was in the chair and the other was behind it. Since they captured my attention, what did I do? I looked away of course. Why didn’t I watch the cut? I could have picked up a few tips for my work on the boys. Then when I got up to head to my girl, they gave me the best good morning and a nice big smile. I returned the favor of course. I will speak to you, I just won’t let you catch me watching.
All in all, it’s not so bad or scary.
Good news.
I won’t tell you to stay tuned because I’m not much for play by plays with all this.
🙂
DZ
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