2014, You Will Be My October


I have a really good feeling about this year.  I do.

It isn’t my typical rose colored glasses silver lining state of being either.  It is a practice of writing and noticing and looking back to see the power of purposeful living.  2013 ended in such a powerful way for me.  It became very clear that my only true barrier is knowing exactly what I want.  What I REALLY want…deepest desires and the reason I am here sort of wants – not distracting sparkles or fleeting fancies.  To gain insight, I knew I would need to process in a purposeful way.  I was also thinking of a goal not met in 2013.  I have been much better about setting aside time to create.  This is good.  It can also be quite isolating.  Sometimes I don’t mind.  I realize that isn’t necessarily a good thing – when I don’t mind.  I am a connecting people person.  It fills me up just like creating does, so I wanted to combine the two, or at least make sure I was working on both.  I know so very many amazing people that bring me such joy each time I see them.  I want to be better about honoring that.  I decided that I could take care of both by opening my doors here on New Year’s Day for a few friends who I have talked with about creative time together.  We could make vision boards on the first day of this amazing new year and set our intentions.  If you have made vision boards, you might be smiling at my simplistic approach.  This is new to me.  Mama told me that New Year’s Day isn’t a good day for a gathering necessarily.  I told her it couldn’t be helped.  It HAD to be the first day of this year.  I needed to begin with focus.  I felt the power of my focus in October.  It is my favorite month for so many reasons.  I decided I was going to squeeze every bit of joy I could out of each day of October in a specific sort of way.  It felt different than my general gratitude.  It was more of a “what did I really enjoy today?  Was it a good day?”  Each day I found that my answer was yes.  At the end of the month it was beautiful to look back at these collection of days housed on my favorite calendar page and see what my focus and attention can do.  November is typically for gratitude, but I do this every day all year long, so I chose to go literally deeper and strengthen my core with a 30 day abs challenge.  It was wonderful!  This followed with a December fitness challenge and thoughts of expecting less of myself amidst the busy – to give grace and keep my list small.  It worked.  I also, over these months was really noticing my thought patterns and trying to catch myself and question when negativity or fear would surface.  That worked too.  I knew that I could not wait to have an entire YEAR of this and for that reason I really wanted to begin at the  beginning.  I also am just fine on my own, so I knew that even if no one could come, I would have this gift of a day.  I didn’t realize what a gift it would be, or how extensive the process is and how I would still really welcome it.  How I am now really welcoming it.

The kids went with their dad at lunch on New Year’s and were going to stay over.  For the first time ever I had ALL day to do as I wish.  I ended up playing with my macro lense for my camera on my phone at the loveliest little greenhouse tucked into a nearby garden.  My friend introduced it to me and we really enjoyed ourselves.  It was just the creative springboard to prepare me to come and sit at the table with my ideas.  I read about vision boards and found that some complete them and put them away after the intentions are set, while others leave them out to appreciate.  I realized I wasn’t ready for the board itself until I did some writing.  I needed to write about 2013.  I thought it had been a great year.  When I started writing, I realized that there were actually 4 months of serious stress followed by 3 months of hope with worry and wondering, and THEN the last 4 months was what felt quite powerful with purposeful change.  Looking back helped.  Then I wrote about all I wanted from 2014.  I wrote about what an ideal day looks like.  Only then did the visuals for my vision board begin to take shape.  I haven’t created it yet.  It is definitely in progress. 

In the midst of this I saw many posts about choosing a word for the year.  I didn’t know about that…I can be pretty fickle.  Things change, you know?  Then, I read a post by Kelly Rae Roberts and she said her word was trust.  As I read her rationale, it made sense to me.  If I were to choose just one word, it would be trust.  I need to trust myself, others, timing, and that all really will be well.  Trust doesn’t come easily for me.  I’m working on that one…all year long it seems.  Other words and phrases will come as well.  I might need to wear them, paint them, doodle them.  That works.  I also need to hear them.  I am approaching 2014 as my October in a similar fashion to my recipe or project research.  I do a lot of reading from many sources and sit with it for a bit and synthesize and then not really follow any one person’s directions, but proceed with my own spin on it.  I am working through Brave Girl’s Club’s Soul Comfort online class.  I love their classes.  I am going to check out Donald Miller’s free week of coaching online this week connected to his Storylines.  It sounded interesting.  I am also reading Patti Digh’s life is a verb.  My other sources will be random and those right conversations at the right time that happen so often I laugh right out loud.  It is as if my attention is overtly commanded.  I comply and nod in appreciation.

I am eager to embrace all that this year will bring.

It just keeps getting better.

It does.


About attraversiamodarmaz

Midwestern girl who loves big city shopping (note - do not love high heels of any kind) * hate to say that first because I fancy myself a yoga chic too who is into feng shui and a minimalist life but it's just not all true!* I do forget to recycle* LOVE reading and music and most things crafty (the idea of them - very fickle and creative urges come and go faster than light or sound)* Grand chef and baker in my own mind and kitchen - love to mix and match recipes for a glorious new concoction* Gardening would be very successful - I have a flair but short attention span can cause casualties* True bliss is my home filled with three beautiful children (four on the weekends - an amazing Goddaughter)* did forget to feed the beautiful children lunch once when they were too small to remind me* can't find socks for all on some crazy mornings* I'm a learner who just can't help it...a writer in my head, and a college instructor for a half dozen classes a year* can't help my right brain optimism* been a foster mom* am a very grateful mom of adopted children* worst life moment: leaving the E.R. with an empty baby carrier* this is me...pretty much
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One Response to 2014, You Will Be My October

  1. duffolks says:

    TRUST…Amen. Love you, Pamela…Mom

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